Once again, countless of time - Me sad :(

I guess TODAY is my saddest day in 2013. Lots of things happened in my life's diary. When I looked at the sky this evening, I can see the gloomy face of me ups there. Hiding behind the cloud with the tears that 'she' tried to suppress, to hide it from everyone. The near the date and the day of the BIG day, looks like more unexpected or unforeseen accidents happen. Not once, but...twice, thrice,....I don't know. The numbers keep going and will always...in future. And the most upsetting thing in the world is when the one you trust the most betrayed you. No matter if she/ he is your friend, colleague, buddy or even your own family member. And this kind of act happen to me just now. And he is my youngest brother that I love the most. The one that I think resemble me the most and always someone that I trust to rely on. How come he ever dare to betray his sister, his own blood. I guess he didn't realize how much I hate him just now. Inside my heart shouted, 'YOU DON'T DESERVE MY LOVE AND TRUST!'

 I hate him not just because he hurts me and left my heart broken and smashed into pieces that I think will never ever get back to its shape again. No, that not the only reason. His action didn't just affecting me,but also his parents, other sibling and everyone besides him. 

1) He makes my mom be as cold as ice today. He hurts mom more than anyone. I hate this the most!!!

2) He left his other siblings over worried plus broken heart, just to find his whereabouts. 

3) He brought shame to our family.

4) He's too egoist and self-centered.

5) He's the BLACK SHEEP of the family.

Last but not least...

6) He broke my love trust towards him...( for ever ). No more second chance! (at least this year)

I promise to myself that I will never ever let him "touch and use" my babies (mobile phone, motorcycle, etc...). Please don't blame me, and don't tell the world that I'm a selfish sister...no, I am not. I love him, but he repay my love and trust in this "unbelievable" way that make me really want to shout, curse, kick, smack......his behaviour. He disgrace me, his mom and dad and siblings. He brought shame to our family. He makes his mom the saddest person in the world and because of this, I wouldn't think I can forgive him. Forgiveness will come soon, as the blood is thicker than water, but it will take time to rebuild the love and trust towards him once again. All he can do now is waiting and waiting for the forgiveness until everything is back to normal.

It's TRUE that wealth can be find again, but there is the time that we need to teach him A LESSON - Not to torture him, but for his sake in the future. Someone needs to open his eyes and the brain inside that hard skull of him so that he can think the good and the bad of his action if it happen again next time. Full stop.